Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
