I can't breathe out the right side of my face
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
So squirting runs in the family.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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