He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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