This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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