taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
