then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
