What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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