He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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