Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
