My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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