I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My vagina just recognized that song.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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