Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
