we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
