i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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