Why are handjobs necessary in class?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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