I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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