You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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