I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
the liver wants what the liver wants
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
