I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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