I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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