Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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