I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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