Kiss
Puke
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
