I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
