Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
