i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
