So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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