i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
