why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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