they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
