So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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