I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
