Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize