Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
