Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
try to milk me bitch
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