He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
