Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
