Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
