I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
