I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
