What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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