you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
