Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Every concussion has its silver lining
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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