he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
