DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
