If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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