So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
