Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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