I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
These tits shall not be calmed
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
