THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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