kristin has been a bad kristin
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
