That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
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