To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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