i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
