Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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