i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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