I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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