I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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