He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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