Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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