He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
